I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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