Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The air was thick with penises
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
