Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
