Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
