My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
