dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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