whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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