i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
