It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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