shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
