the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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