I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
