Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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