I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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