in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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