Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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