apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
