she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
