Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I love you.
Bad choice
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
