I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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