At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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