she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
