Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He better not be in your backpack
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
