ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I love having hate sex.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dicks are not precious.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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