I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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