i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize