Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
