Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
