he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
