Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
