how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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