he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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