Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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