Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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