I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
