what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
