hell yes lets make some ravioli
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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