I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
