She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you had me at cake vodka
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize