You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
