Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
