she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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