Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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