I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
