I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
