He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize