I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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