Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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