absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize