Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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