I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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